I do like a good swear, out loud as exclamation. Vulgarity with vigor. Gratifying, guttural and sharp like a hammer. While the f-word for many is aggressive, taboo and offensive, I’ll still sometimes sigh an elongated f-ff-fff-fuuuuuuccccckkkk…as summation, exultation, or evaluation, depending on the context, the conversation. I’d like to think that I raised my children to cuss well and judiciously - knowing what, when, where, how and in front of whom, to use a solid-arse curse.
Yet when it comes to posting profanity online, I’m a 57 year-old woman who tends to pull back because of propriety. Usually, that is. But there are times and these are those times, to let the eff-word fly.
A new pal of mine, Pam Parker @badseedbakes is an underground baker of Lithuanian descent living in the southern U.S., who is another woman of a certain age whence swearing was deemed socially unacceptable, unladylike. “For a while,” she explained, “I tried to say flipping to break the habit [of saying fuck] but it just wasn’t the same. And in terms of social media my daughter taught me years ago: Mom you never post ‘bad’ or ‘dramatic’.”
But after learning of a friend-of-a-friend who received a dire medical diagnosis, Pam let her daughter’s advice go. She stamped out Fuck Cancer on a batch of homemade graham crackers and sent them off. They were a well-received delight - a delicious, empowering care package. Since then, Pam has posted Fuck Cancer grahams on social media and has sent out dozens of orders and gifts, while still “excusing the f-word to the more sensitive types...yet each time there was a big smile and a nod. And it took on a whole different message to people.”
Pam’s Fuck Putin graham crackers are her next-right baking project in the chain of the events that Fuck Cancer grahams set into motion. When affronted with the inconceivable horrors of the Russian state reign of terror upon the people of Ukraine, she decided that wherever these crackers took her it’d be okay, because the sentiment of Fuck is a big part of how she feels. “It’s such a sad situation. This for me was not political. This is just tragic. That is the difference for me. I could’ve used it many times about our politicians but I really wanted to do this for humanitarian reasons.”
Pam’s husband had quietly suggested she stamp Puck Futin instead. “But do it backwards? I’m not that kind of person, I’m either going to do it 100% or I’m not. I also donate all the sales from these grahams to World Central Kitchen @wckitchen.” (Find the link to order below.) “It was a funny feeling I have to say…going out there. But I am so outraged. I can’t understand how this is happening.”
However, these crackers are not for everybody. My mother, for one, considers them vulgar. She grew up in WWII Germany and will declare, without a pinch of irony, “War is rude.”
“You’re taking this war personally. You can’t. It’s none of your business.” She says to me when she hears a particular angle in my voice. “Unless of course, you are a human being who has commitments to other people and the planet.” She has a way of making her point, shaking me from inertia into consciousness.
From her experience, as a nearly 93 year-old survivor-immigrant who was also raised not to swear: War is both personal and not personal at the same time. “I have lived longer than you and I do know this as a matter of fact: You’ve got to take care of yourself because nobody else can. You owe it to the rest of the world that You Care and you also owe it to the world that you do not destroy yourself in the process.”
Looking around, she knows she’s also one of the lucky ones.
Bakers, I find, are creative practical people. And some are like Pam. We take care + we cuss. So why graham crackers? “Because they take the stamp.” And because there’s nothing more personal than telling someone to eff-off.
“When I make the Fuck Putin grahams, each and every time that I imprinted his name I was so angry doing it, I had to throw out a bunch because I pressed too hard.”
With an obscenity and in wholesomeness, Fuck Putin graham crackers are made with Carolina Ground @carolinaground stone milled flour. “I really wanted to get rid of that anger and frustration as I’m imprinting this man’s name, and as much as I didn’t want to see it in front of me, I just hoped that someone would see the message and it would make a difference. Each and every time. I got rid of a lot of angst that day baking, just hoping it would make a difference somewhere.”
What does this taste like? The rudeness of war, outrage and frustration. Interdependency, commitment, care, hope. Catharsis, transformation and peace. As s’mores? With coffee, shared. How does this melt on your tongue? And for the tongues of others?
~~~~~
This is the link to order Pam’s customized grahams as well as more of her baked goods and workshops. Here again is the website for World Central Kitchen.
Looking for regionally sourced freshly ground flours? Go here.
There are a multitude of food-forward fundraisers for the people of Ukraine. On social media consider following @oliahercules @cookforukraine #cookforukraine #bakeforukraine for inspiration and participation. Lastly, please read this brave and highly personal piece in British Vogue by cookbook author @alissatimoshkina “Putin & Russia Are Distinct Entities”: Russian-Born Alissa Timoshkina On Founding The Cook For Ukraine Movement.
Peace.